Seen as though everything is doom and gloom at the moment,let's have a new joke thread, I will start

I took Jet2 to court recently because they lost my luggage.

I lost the case

Can anyone beat that

My wife said she is going to leave me because of my obsession with Rugby.

I'm gutted. We've been together 10 season.

A bloke threw a pint of milk over me yesterday

I thought "how dairy"

How do you pull a fat bird ? Piece of cake.

My girlfriend told me I was one in a million. When I looked through her text messages, I had to admit she was right.

An English cat, named One Two Three and a French cat, named Un Deux Trois, decided to have a swimming race across the Channel. The English cat won because Un Deux Trois cat sank

Police have charged a drayman with murder following the discovery of a shooting victim in the cellar of the Top house.

They think he gave him both barrels.

I'd tell you a joke about a bin but it's rubbish.

James Lowes

Knew it was coming...

I've just thought of one

Bradford Bulls don't need a scrum half

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the microwave until it's bill withers